Given the huge difference between how likely people are to capitalise the second component in ex-wife compared to co-founder, i think choose a rule and be consistent with it is terrible. Conversationally, i agree that ex-wife seems much more common that former wife. In writing, though, the use of former doesn't seem so rare.

Burnsville, Minn., Shooting: 2 Police Officers and 1 Paramedic Killed

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